"No Day, But Today!"- Rent

that guy said...
yerp....I'm back. I got more questions for the Ace. OK so since it's been a while I'd like to ask you how you've been? and whether anything's new? I been ok, been tryna use your advice, more I learn, more I realize, there's so much I don't know. My question is thus, ok I'm tryna peep this chic, and she's into another dude, she knows I like her, but she tends to not bring attention to it or address it, she does think I'm a "nice guy", and I heard this from a mutual friend, she also thinks I like her only cuz I'm tryna fuck her, if this was the case, once I head the whole nice guy thing I wouldn't have cared enough to give her a second thought, but now the situation is that I"m goin to miami for spring break wit my ppls, and she is goin wit another friend, and undoubtedly we gonna end up chillin, so a. how do I handle this? Do i ignore her, try to chill wit her, try to get at her?and b. Is it a legitamate reason that you like someone, simply for the fact that you don't know why you like them? That you haven't been able to quantify them. If you knew why you liked them then you wouldn't like them. Can you shed some light on this

Of coarse you can like someone just because you like them. You dont have to give a list or a reason why you like someone ya heart knows what it wants when it wants it, it does not have to give you a reason as to why, it works on its own accord. Obviously you cannot ignore her because thats just childish, you shouldnt try to get at her just chill on the friend tip, be an honest friend to her, she has it in her mind that you are only after one thing and she wont change her mind, women are annoyin like that, so just chill with her dont try to get at her, holla at someone else you're not beat for her so it doesnt matter you just like her so who knows maybe seeing you as just a guy over time will soften her up later for you to holla at her, but for now just chill lay the ground work wit her and hollla at other girls y0u might find someone else that you like and give a million reasons as to why...
Dr. Ace Love has spoken!

"I hate you but I love, But I cant love you, cuz I hate you!"--Prince

Anonymous said...
me and my exboyfriend had a really bad breakup and didnt talk to each other for awhile...but then he calls out of the blue askin to be friends again like it was no problem that he acted like a jerk towards me when we broke up. and i realized that i still have angry feelings toward him. so i just wanna know: is it a good idea to be friends with an ex that things didnt go well with?

If you still have angry feelings for him, then you are not ready to be friends. At most be friends via email. Dont meet up with him, dont hang out with him. If he didnt respect you when he was dating u he might not respect you as a friend. He may be feeling down and out and lonely and just wants you back. So dont fall back into a pity relationship. So move on, keep him as close as email allows it, which isnt close at all.
Dr. AceLove has spoken!

"Never underestimate the power of BODY LANGUAGE!" -Ursula, Sea Witch(The Little Mermaid)

That guy said...
I'm willing to put in a little bit of time to "get to know" them, but the main thing I want to maintain is 1. my freedom 2. my ability to decline offers to chill without any reprocussions and also to be able to come and go as I please(probably too much to ask) but while you ponder this , I got another question if you in a bar chillin and u catch somebody's eye and they lookin at you with a stern face, what kinda expression are you supposed to give them to arouse interest. is that a signal? how can you tell? how does one interpret body language? please be as detailed and as specific as possible remember I'm only a man after all.

If someone is giving you a stern face it could be for many reasons. They could be tryin to place your face, u might look familiar. Or possibly they are wondering what the hell you are wearing or maybe u did something foolish. The expression that works no matter what is to smile, a smile does so much, if she smiles back then thats cool, if she turns her head and acts like u didnt just smile then keep walking but if she keeps looking back at you then go and talk to her. Body language is hard to interpret but we are all born with an innate sense for these things, the problem is that as humans we ignore our own senses and therefore at times get played out really bad. If you go over there and get rejected just keep walking, dont beat yourself up about it or let her see that you are hurt by it. Again like the ying yang twins say, "You're fine but I aint gonna sweat ya!" These are words to live by when u are in the dating game. Like i said earlier smiles are always good, if u go up to her and all the smile was was her being polite then you can make her a friend then holla at her friends, when u meet one girl there is a potential to meet a whole lot more as her friend then her man<---- wow was that slimey, getting a girl as a friend to holla at her friends, oh well its smart as hell so go with it.

Oh and about having your freedom and being able to turn a girl down when she wants to chill and all that, thats not gonna happen, it might with the right girl but like i said u gotta keep switchin, keepin friends with benefits too long leads to people catchin feelings. So keep on pimpin playa!
Dr. Ace Love has spoken!

"I'd rather be alone then be here unhappy"

Anonymous said...
a couple of weeks ago my now ex-boyfriend told me he wanted to take a break after we went out for a month. What bothers me though is that he 1.)never talked to me about it 2.)he ignored my calls for a couple of days before he told me this 3.)he still wanted to be my b/f just without the title 4.) and he said he would still call but he hasnt...He said he just wanted to take this break to see if we can still work b/c we go to seperate school and we live 30 minutes from each other. I know that the right thing for me to do is just to leave him alone but...how long should i wait before i move on and date other ppl???

Okay, he wanted to downgrade your relationship to less than friends with benefits to wheneva he needs that particular itch to be scratched. Okay unless you both dont have a car, 30 minutes is nothing. I live in south jersey and to get to the mall, i gotta drive 45 minutes and thats for me to buy a coach bag, so that distance/seperate schools isnt a good enough reason. By the time you read this post, please start to date other people! Move on, he probably is talkin to other chics, so you need to expand your horizon, one month is nothing to think about, it aint worth it! The guy you are suppose to be with is out there so go find him, and i better not hear about you talkin to that jerk anymore!
Dr. Ace Love has spoken!

"If I could turn back the hands of time... I wouldnt spend it all with just you!"

That Guy said...
OK I'm back, I used your advice and shit's pretty cool, I'm pullin some decent chics. But I got more questions, I'm an engineer and as such I don't have much time to devote towards girfriends, however, I would like to set myself up in that I wanna get a couple chics just to fuck, sorry about the vulgarity but I couldn't think of any other way to put it. I don't really wanna have a relationship cuz I can't devote time to it. So I wanna set myself up to be Bill Bellamy from "How to be a Player" only I'ma be more discrete about it. So I'm wondering should I holla at a bunch of chics and get a couple dates out the way and then jus string em along....or well can you tell me how exactly to accomplish my goals. hehe I want a monday chic a tuesday chic......all the way to friday.....Is this possible without having to put in too much time?

Havent heard from you in awhile, I'm happy to hear that you are pullin decent chicks. Okay so you dont have enough time to dedicate to an actual girlfriend. So you want friends with benefits with a couple chicks. Speaking from my past entanglements I juggled a couple of guys before and well if you dont have enough time for a serious relationship, you have even less time for multiple friends with benefits. At most two maybe three is all i would recommend and seeing that i was a bum psych student even then that was too much for me to handle. And someone always catches feelings, heck I have one that is still hangin around despite the fact that I have been with my boyfriend 3 years now, like my brother says, "he cant go nowhere without trippin over this ex". So I say two at most, chics catch feelings, so your gonna have to keep switchin them, u cant keep the same one too long. Its possible to get chics without spending alot of time, its impossible to keep them without spendin alot of time, so let me know what you are willing to put into it, and maybe i can help you out!
Dr. Ace Love has spoken!

Dogs with big tails dont leave tracks!

BigSam said...
Hey Ace,I have a question, I was talking to this girl and the convo went like this: Her - or some reason -- even though I donot know you--- I think of you as a ......... dog. then to diffuse it I said: what kind of dog, one of the big ugly ones or one of the cute ones u just want to pet all day she replied: just get that "vibe" from you..... One of the cute ones that you want to pet and hug and kiss all day until they piss on your favorite shirt. Then all you want to do is kick them and put them outside.So my question is this how do women get this vibe and what can I do to keep from giving it off. I think this has something to do with the confidence I have around women what is your opinion on this?

Well, you give off that vibe not because of confidence, rather from the "i dont give a fuck" attitude that you have that makes you able to say anything regardless of how it may be taken. But you are a Taurus so you are stubborn as hell so you are just gonna give off that vibe, just is how you is, so the best I can say is that if they cant handle you pissin on thier shirt dont leave the shirt out! Stick with women that can handle the fight that it will take to get you house broken, anything less then that you are dealing with someone too weak to handle it, so you are both wasting your time!
Dr. Ace Love has spoken!

"A snake charmer is a hard knock life"

That Guy said...
ok it's me again, need your input on this one. I got a older brother, and chics just seem to be drawn to him, he's not really funny, and his charm is limited, also can you define charm for me. I mean I'm funny but what would make me charming an example would help. So back to the initial question, How is it that some dudes can just pull shit and others such as myself gotta work for it. Perhaps my age/inexperience shows?

Okay first thing is first, we all can think of someone that we have known, that we could not figure out why they were so attractive to the opposite sex, but they were. They just give off those platinum plus pheromones, that we just cannot explain. Charm is confidence, no stumbling over words, keepin it real without being too real. Charm is not being arrogant or shy. Yeah, I am going to go with that "Charm is confidence with the absence of arrogance!" Yo thats hot, man sometimes I gotta stop and reflect on how brilliant I am. Okay an example of charming, let me think, just be honest and nothing cheesy. Example: "Guy talking to a Girl, He smiles in a nice way not a stalker way and says that he cant believe he met a Girl like her when so many girls want someone that wont treat them right. But I can tell that you got a good head on your shoulders and I respect a strong woman that doesnt stand for games" Ya know how it is, compliments are your friends! So keep it real! Like I said, some people got them super-GQ phermones that can pull people in. So just "Use what ya got, to get what you want"
Dr. Ace Love has spoken!

"Lets wait a while..."

BigSam said...
Yo what's good Ace?What do you think about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes getting engaged? I usually don't care about these things but right now I guess it seems to be the most important news in the world. Also how long should a couple wait to get married, I was thinking you should live with the person at least a year but I'm interested in hearing your opinion on this. Holla at ya boy.

Okay so what to do. For everyone it is different, I personally would want to live with someone cuz people are shady, you never know a person until you see all thier sides, not just the nice part that let you see on dates. Remember that if you aint ready to live with someone, then dont. If you aint ready to commit on that level then let it be known from jump. Though I think you should be very committed to eachother inorder to move in cuz ladies ya know the old saying, "Y buy the cow, when u can get the milk for free" This is still true to this day. So dont end up living with someone for ten years and never get married, thats just sad. So move in together knowing that you are only a step away from getting married/engaged.

"I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date" -white rabbit

That Guy said...
Ok things have been going alright, but I got more questions. Ok imagine you're on the clock, you see this chick once in a while and in order to talk to her, you'd have to pry her away from something and boom. Tick tock tick tock, she's gotta get back to her thing, you're up, what do you say, what do you do, you've never talked to this chic before, you had to ask her to come to a specific spot away from her work to talk to you and now what? You start with a simple, Hi...............shit freeze frame, you've got a million things runnin through your mind and it all boils down to what could you possibly say at this time that would be concise, get you some sort of intro and set you up nice to pull away wit the #. Yea true story, just hasn't happened yet, thats why I consulted you first.

- Okay what to do... Even if you are not on the clock, you have to say something quick and conscise and not drag things out. So just jump in there, girls dont wanna hear a bull shit set up. Get to the point, we know u are trying to holla at us, u know u are trying to holla so just be upfront. Be polite, dont be all thug like, be intelligent. Say from jump you are at work, so she understands why you dont have forever to holla at her. Say a lil bit about yourself, where ur from and be funny and charming, the goal is to make her smile because your a cool person and not because ur some fool trying to holla. Oh be like, "I never met a girl that is relaxed and laid back, most females are too high maintenace, like you look like you take care of yourself but your not hung up on it." See you have just complemented her and put down all other chicks which makes her feel special and different. So after like what, maybe five minutes of small talk, go in for the kill ask her for her number, or well this is new age, so if she says no be like well can i get your screen name so its not as invasive but you still get to talk to her. So go for it! Be cool and relaxed and be honest!
Dr. Ace Love has spoken!

Advice column

Apparently it has come to my attention that people very much enjoy my advice column but they seem not to be posting questions. So if ya'll want me to spit my knowledge ya'll gotta ask Qs cuz otherwise I can just post random knowledge but that would just make me another, "Sam's thought of the day" blog.

So ask and ye shall recieve!

Dr. Ace Love has spoken!

Walk away

That guy said...
once again it's me...you know THAT GUY. I was wondering if you could tell me how I know whether to back off early in the game so that I don't get played. See if a bunch of niggas done approached her before me and she fed up i'm sure she'll give some sort of sign to tell me to bide my time. So can you clarify how I can tell. Also, you're good, thanks for the help. I'll dedicate my first jumpoff to you. heheh "woman put your lighter in the air one time for THE ACE"

Aight bet when to walk away
if the chick looks back at her girls and you see that her girls smile a cocky smile
if she sighs and shifts her body weight from one leg to the other
if she does a fake light laugh and tries to walk past you
if you have to repeatedly get her attention for her to stop walking and talk to you
if she constantly looks back and her friends and her friends giggle

Really its important to pay attention to body language, girls tell alot, shit people in general tell alot you just gotta know what to look for. Study people for a lil while and you will be able to protect yaself from the jump.
Dr. Ace Love has spoken.